When I was young, I met two guys whom I like. One is a Sarawakian guy and the other one is from Semenanjung. Lets just call them A and B. I met A before I met B. I met A at a high school reunion, he was my senior in college. When we were at the reunion, he obviously showed his interest towards me. He asked for my phone number and contacted me afterwards. We always texted each other and he always sent me his pictures, that I've never asked for. Haha.. He's such a camwhore. I had like 20 pictures of him as he kept giving me his MMS.
One day, we had dinner together, and while we were having some conversation, OUT OF NOWHERE, my instinct said "HE IS NOT THE ONE". That feeling comes out of nowhere, and I felt awkward to have that thought just pop out in my head. Yeah, and that makes a lot of sense when I found out that he had a girlfriend, but he told me that he was single. So he wanted to have me as his second girlfriend. HELL NO! What a weird guy. So that’s it. It was over between us.
One of my principals is that, if you are someone's bf /gf, then be LOYAL. Cuz if u cheat on him/her, he/she might cheat on u too. Karma. What goes around, comes back around. But we stay friends, no hard feelings. Besides, knowing him, I don't really have any chemistry with him at all.
For B, same things happened. At first he said he was single. Bla bla bla.. Then I found out that he had a girlfriend. And he wanted both. Bla bla bla. It was over. But the difference between both of them is that, for A, I known him for 1-2 months before I ended everything, and that didn’t really affected me cuz it was so quick and short. Unfortunately with B, it lasted for 8-9 moths before we ended everything and for a MAJOR reason that he was engaged with someone else and he didn’t even have the courtesy to tell me. Why? Because he is a Bastard.
Yeah, I wouldn’t call A that, but I would definitely call B a BASTARD.
First he said he was single. Then when I found out that he had a girlfriend, I confronted him and as I was about to end our relationship he told me, no, he PROMISED me that he would tell his gf and leave her to be with me. Not that I asked him to do that, but I told him that I don’t want to meddle around with anyone's relationship. He was someone's boyfriend, and I wouldn’t want to be close with him if he had a gf. He should stick with one, not two.
But, as a Bastard, he told me that he wanted both, he said both of us would complete his life and that he couldn’t live without me and without her. Well, that is Bull$h*t. And the worst part is that he asked me to go out with him right after he was engaged with his gf. I mean, dude u r engaged, why would u still go out with other girl? He even treated me like a gf, he was being so nice and sweet that instead of being happy, I felt so awkward. And I have an instinct that he must be hiding something from me. And it was true. He was engaged.
Upon knowing that he was engaged, I was shocked. But I didn’t feel anything. I asked myself "Should I cry?" Yeah maybe I should. It’s normal to cry if u find out that someone u love was engaged to someone else. But I didn’t cry. Not that I don’t want to, but I couldn't. Why? I just don’t love him.
I don’t feel sad. I have expected that he is a Bastard, and indeed he is. Instead, I felt sorry for his fiancé. She deserves someone who is loyal to her as she has been loyal to him. Well, I couldn’t say anything, they are fated to be with each other. (Btw, they’re married now) And how glad I am, not to be fated with him. Well, his father has two wives, so that explains why he is like that, its genetic. Its in the blood. Like father, like son right. I confronted him and our friendship ended.
But looking at the bright side, I learned a lot from this. This experience has made me stronger and better. I have knowledge about guys that I never had before. I was naive before I met him, that’s why I was easily cheated by him. I trust every lies he told me. Today, I am wiser and I can easily identify guys who genuinely loves me and who's not.
Well, u learned a lot when u experienced this thing on your own than hearing it from someone else or reading books. The knowledge that u get from ur own experience will test u and affected u so much that u won’t forget even for a bit, about the things that you have faced in the past.
Well for what is worth, our life journey are still very far. There are more interesting things waiting for us ahead. Your life doesn’t stops if u fall, so get back up and walk forward. Plus, whatever things u do to change the past, it wont change even for tiny-winy-bit. So instead of looking at the past and beat yourself up, u should move on and look forward. Make a better present that will eventually lead to a happier and brighter future... :)
#some.notes : And the most important thing is that, whatever it is, Allah is there by our side, for every breath u take, wherever and whenever. Allah's love is the Greatest love of all :) Cheers~
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