Love.N.2.B.Loved

Today I learned one of the most important lessons in my life. It is to be the best for the one u loves. To show appreciation and the best in yourself to people who are close to u. Especiallly your family, specifically your mother and your father. Its not that I’m not showing my best colour to them, but basically to the guy who is dear to me (excluding blood ties or family) --> my boyfriend.

Yeah, my boyfriend, one of the closest person to me in my life.

A lil' bit info on us.. At first he's my friend, then my close friend, then my best friend and now he is my boyfriend. My first boyfriend. And hopefully if we are fated to be more than just friend, I would be so glad. InsyaAllah. We known each other since July 2010, we took the same class and we were classmates. He is my roommate’s friend. I barely knew him. But who knows that one day that we are going to be in a relationship. I never expect that, but Allah knows better. Our relationship becomes official on Jan 1st 2011. 

I never had any boyfriend before, basically because I just don’t have feelings towards any guy. There are some guys whom I like but that’s just that. Not more than that. I’m very picky when it comes to guys and relationship. I wouldn’t have any problems with friendship but when it comes to relationship I would want the best for me. The kind of guy who have the qualities that I need. Since I’m raised in a very protective family. My parents, especially my mum is very sceptical about their children’s' interest of being in a relationship. Yeah, who wouldn't.
*I think I’m also gonna be the same when I have my own children*

Anyway, my mum was really strict and protective towards her children, especially her daughters and especially ME. Yeah, mainly because I’m her youngest daughter. She would forbid me from being friends with any guys. She would be mad if there is any guy or admirer who called me at home, and she would blamed me saying that I’m the one who flirted with those guys. Hence, I never had any guy friends when I was in high school or matrics. For me, I just feel awkward with guys and they don’t really matter for me, and I don’t give a damn on their existence. Plus, I don’t find any significance  to have a guy friend because I don't see the benefits of being friend with them, plus I’m afraid that my mum would be angry with me. 

For instance, there was this one time on Raya 2009. When I was 19, I celebrated Raya with my best friend and her boyfriend. We went from one house to another to visit our school friends. At Maghrib time, we stopped by my house to perform Maghrib prayer with my dad. My mum was still out with my oldest brother at that time. After praying, while we were getting ready to go out again to visit my friend's house, my mum arrived home. Then she saw my best friend’s boyfriend. And she was totally shocked. She gasped, she was standing in front of us and she just stood there, speechless. And she said "Why would u bring a guy to our house? Who is this guy??" she said sternly. I answered "He's nik's boyfriend, NOT MY BOYFRIEND. Well don't worry, I dont have one". 

OMG! I was so embarrassed by her. I mean, I feel that it's not proper for my mum to say that, my friends were really uncomfortable with what she have said. They were my guests, and for God's sake, we were home because we wanted to perform Maghrib prayer! Its not like we were having parties or anything! 

Hahaha.. That is one of the memories that I won’t forget in my whole life. But now, when I got to think about it again, it was hilarious, really. Now, I can truly see that actually, she's doing that for my own sake and she's really concerned about me. Thanks Mum :) 

Well, my mum has made me for who I am today. Got to think about that, I am glad that she was so strict with me. Well, everything happens for a  reason. Maybe if she had given too much freedom to me when I was young, then I won’t be who I am today. Maybe I will have some boyfriends here and there, exes here and there, maybe I would have done something with my boyfriends that I shouldn't do. Well, who knows right? 

And as a wrap, that explains why I have my first boyfriend at the age of 21.

#some.notes: "You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly"